OK everyone. Grab a chair and sit down. It’s time we have a talk.

Here are the headlines in the news from a little over a 24-hour period, Tuesday May 15th, 2012:

• Teen admits to break-ins at Dole Middle School – Police said the boy was in custody for another offense Saturday. During an interview, he admitted to breaking into a classroom.
• 13-year-old girl arrested for assault on school staff – She assaulted five school staff and security officers and threatened to kill one of them.
• Runaway niece shows up in stolen car – A 15-year-old car theft suspect showed up with a 17-year-old friend in a stolen car.
• Police captured a 19-year-old male who stole a purse from a woman in Waikiki.
• Officers arrested A 19-year-old female for second degree theft, terroristic threatening, and for two outstanding warrants.

Did you read that last one? A 19-year-old with two outstanding warrants! How is that accomplished?

When I was originally thinking of these incidents, the questions in my mind were: What is wrong with these kids? How are these kids so messed up? Do they all have the same gangsta rap role models? How are these kids making such stupid decisions?

But the reality? Kids do as we teach them or permit them.

While many parents may not be actively “teaching” their kids to steal, lie, cheat and go all MMA on people, the reality is that if we do not explain to children what is acceptable behavior and what the rules and consequences are, then by default we are permitting them to run rampant and ultimately mess their lives up. Lack of admonishment of what is wrong is by default approval of what is wrong.

How do I know this? I was one of those kids!

My mother for the most part thought I was a pretty good kid. However, one day, surprise, surprise, I was suspended from school for something that by today’s standards would have gotten me arrested. My mother then did the hard and proper thing. She confronted me with NO uncertain terms and explained to me just the way it was going to be. (Mental Picture: Imagine your most angry aunty, giving you full stink eye while pointing that finger at you) And my mother said to me: “Boy! If you keep up what you have been doing, you’re going to end up in jail. Then you’re on your own because I DON’T visit people in jail.” Then she did what was necessary and PUSHED me in a new direction and I am confident to say it altered my path in life.

Today, after reading all of these headlines, I am challenging all of you, even if you think your kid is a good kid, to have some form of “that talk” with kids you know. Your kids, neighbors kids, or just some random kid giving you attitude. Speak up and put that foot down. Explain to them what is acceptable and what will not be tolerated. You are the adults, be in charge. And if you have a story of your own directional change, share it with them.

Do something to put these kids into a direction that will help them accomplish something wonderful in life. Those kids will someday thank you. Otherwise maybe your children, or someone’s kids you know are going to end up like this:

• Teen who murdered and raped business woman sentenced – He strangled the 51 year old, had sex with her and used her computer to watch porn. He also stole her ATM and credit cards, as well as her vehicle. He was 15 years old at the time.

Note: Juveniles made up 14 percent of all arrests nationwide in 2009.

About the author: Curtis Kropar is a longtime Honolulu resident. You can read his bio on his member page.